Recently Lilly has said a few times how her world is right again with me and Hong being friends again. Not that we were ever not friends but there have been some strained bits the past year or two, surrounding how I was at work the time I went nutty and also how we all walked out from the job afterward. In those conversations, there was definitely times when trust was a big issue. I think for me, the friendship between guys is hardly much questioned because once you accept a guy friend into your life, like a really good guy friend, the only thing that tends to strain that bond is a girl. Nothing splits guys up like having a girl in the middle.But in these situations where trust devolves a bit, I squarely believe in acting out of self interest. While, of course, you always cling to your desire to not hurt the other person (and think of their interests as well), when it comes down to it, people need to act out of their own desires and wishes and if both people are honest and truthful about that, a bigger and better friendship will emerge. And right now, in a somewhat similar, but totally different way, James and I are going through a rough patch. And I say "rough" because there is a general lack of closeness that has been brought upon by the current situation and all the ramifications along with it. Whenever we've told anyone about it, one of the first things they'll say is how said it is to see the two of us "broken up."
So in that way, this weekend was wonderful. We had a standard and regular guy's night in (with George) and between the food and the poker and the laughs and the making fun of each other, we found familiarity again. Which is something that years of foundational friendship brings. When I've tried to explain my current feelings about the situation, and how I've been reluctant to engage in interactions with both of them, it's always in this way where I know that we're perfectly fine on the surface levels, but lurking underneath it is an uncomfortability and wariness, from both sides I think.
Only time, and eventual conversation, will heal that but given my current mind state, it's always good to have positive reminders of the way things usually are. Because at the end of the day, your boys will be your boys and the things that could pry you apart generally don't last for too long because male friendships tend to be more resilient than female friendships. If I can make that very broad generalization.
one streamlined blog! genius!
girl friendships can't be simply summed up. there are subgenres which i'm happy to break down for you over a cup of fro yo.